Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize