Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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