She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
