I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
