He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
