Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize