it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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