i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My penis needs a shock collar
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize