I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
