bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
