Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize