Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
