i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
