we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
