I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
