im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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