ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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