It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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