I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
