With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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