This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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