yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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