Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
