She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
