doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
