Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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