just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
