Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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