Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
