Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
