I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
