Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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