we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
