she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
