What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
please come you make the beer taste better
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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