I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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