we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
