I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
