new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
i think i just lost a toe
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
