Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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