In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
