if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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