A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
kristin has been a bad kristin
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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