She said her name was "party"
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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