too bad you live with your parents still
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
