I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
