I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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