yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
