There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Boobs speak an international language.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
