I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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