on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
