We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
