I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Found the puke drawer
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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