The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
there is puke in my bra ... again
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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