he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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