My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
