Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
