Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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